for the 3rd straight post im quoting something from the mass media. this time its from an article in the Sunday Times dated July 24, 2005. here goes.

"Never Ever" - these are some destructive communication patterns that couples should avoid.

1. Summarising Self Syndrome: you restate your position repeatedly, not listening to your partner's point of view.
2. Cross-Complaining: in response to a complaint, you shoot back with another.
3. Kitchen Sinking: dragging in every possible complaint, especially ones unrelated to the original issue.
4. Yes-But: you agree - superficially - before going back to your own position.
5. Mind Reading: you assume you know what your partner thinks, feels and wants and you put it across in a blaming, hurting or accusing way.
6. Insults or Character Assasinations: you resort to sarcasm, name-calling and putdowns.
7. Saying "you always" Or "you never": these statements, which are meant only to hurt, are rarely true.
8. Blaming: you blame your partner for relationship issues.

- source: Centre For Fathering's Beginning Parenting Programme

well, if it helps la for anyone out there. cheers.