es quizá tiempo que me muevo encendido

this blog is 2 years old. my oh my time really flew.

well, it has served its purpose. shall take a breather for now. havnt had the time to update, nor do i think im gonna anytime soon. so yea, goodbye for now.

not sure if im coming back, chances are i might. but we'll see.

take care everyone, much love to all.

I'll Find A Way

I'll find a way to see you again
I used to think that anything I'd do
Wouldn't matter at all anyway
But now I find that when it comes to you
I'm the winner of cards I can't play
Wait for me
Darling, I need you desperately here

And I'll find a way to see you again

The rain is like an orchestra to me
Little gifts from above meant to say
Girl, you falling at his feet
Isn't lovely or stunning today
Wait for me
I'm alive when you're here with me, stay

And I'll find a way to see you again

Why do the street lamps die
When you're passing by
Like a band that won't stay on my shoulder tonight?
If you held me close, would you laugh it away?
Would you dare the glance that I steal to stay?

And I'll find a way to see you again

The rain will bring me down

- rachael yamagata

ramadhan

fasting month's here again. just as i was regaining back my slightly-lost appetite for all things edible. shucks that means im gonna be losing a little bit of weight again, which aint good given my already leaned frame. my metabolism's pretty high, thus with the enforced abstinence im sure the toll's gonna show. on the other hand, mebbe it might help cut down on the smoking part. itchy surely, but tahan.. well, never mind la, all in the name of faith and its intrinsic goodness. time to be good, time to behave.

had a dinner outing last saturday with the sociology honours classmates. twas fun, great food great company great bonding. feels a little less awkward now, among those that came. which is definitely a good thing. the aftermeal sheesha and sharing was also nice. thanks and kudos to those who helped organise it. speaking of which, a sports session is in the works for this upcoming friday. looking forward to that. yea yea...

mid-term "break" just started too. am supposed to be catching up with the tonnes of readings, and to start prepping myself for some upcoming assignments with deadlines fast approaching. hope i'd be able to be a bit more productive. hope IS the operating word here. haha..

on a sour note, had a mini-spat with the superior at work over the weekend. over some scheduling rostering shite. had kinda anticipated it happening when she first came into the picture, and now it finally did. though we're amicably cool and civil about it now, a bitter taste's left no doubt. definitely bitter. at times, it's just that i feel a tad underappreciated for all that i've done for the company. and how i scringed seeing how some are getting what they dont deserve and getting all sheltered for what mistakes and cockups they've done. wassup with that? ah well, gotta live with it i guess what with the status quo and all. i'll be gone for good next year. just hope that, in that time, my memories of working there wont be further tarnished. again, hope IS key here.

ok, shall try to go and read abit. 'nite people. much love to all. cheers..

sleepless..

most times, the grass will always appear to be greener on the other side. frankly speaking, i seriously do not know. perhaps it's just the vacuum playing tricks on me. that hole, that space, that emptiness. and perhaps it's finally getting to me. and eating me from inside. well, i have dealt with this before, and chances are, i will again. steely? i doubt so. just life at its merciless worst. i think.

having said that, thinking again, perhaps it was a little too premature for me to have thought of certain things in a certain way. too far-fetched, too unlikely. guess i was just harping on that little spectre of delusionment called hope.

*bites the bullet*

i need to go out more.

that aside, on to a little unfortunate piece of news, Bo got into an accident wednesday night. thankfully, nothing majorly serious and he suffered abrasions & cuts only. get well soon aite brudder? take care man.

contrary to the heading of this post, i need to head to bed soon. 'nite people.

reason why

I think about how it might have been
We'd spend our days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
And we can hang our heads down as we skip the goodbyes
You can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there

I'll buy a magazine searching for your face
From coast to coast, or whatever I find my place
I'll track you on the radio, and I'll sign your list in a different name
But as close as I come to you
It's not the same

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back and say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there

So, steal the show, and do your best to cover
the tracks that I have left
I wish you well and hope you find whatever
you're looking for
The way I might've changed my mind, but you
only showed me the door

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back and say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why

- rachael yamagata

just a little update..

im supposed to be doing my readings, but cant seem to get started so i shall just ramble abit here.

well, its been 4 weeks of school now, and in 2 more, it's gonna be the midterm break. pretty fast huh. seriously im already way lagging in my readings, but its ok im starting to gear up a wee bit. just gotta be more productive and efficient at managing my time. well at least that's a start. think im gonna be staying back most days to read, no matter how little i cover, rather than to head straight back home and into the evils that belie in my room. haha.

school work aside, im kinda enjoying the honours year so far. yea i know i was ranting abit in one of my previous posts about the absence of those who've graduated. i do miss them. but funny thing is, with the smaller classes now, the remaining few people are opening up more, and it feels nice to get to know them abit better. after all these semesters of seeing the same familiar faces, finally everyone's starting to speak to one another. i guess everyone just takes a little time warming up ya.

it's been great too hanging out in the honours room, albeit the fact that it could probably do with a few more useful amenities. a better fridge, more sofas, tv perhaps? hehe. and its been fun too being around the dungeon. fun funny people. seems like everyone knows everyone there. i feel that that is where the heartbeat of the arts fac lie in. can eat, slack, talk cock, curse, swear, read (yes read), sleep, watch youtube, listen to itunes, etc etc. not some dingy aircon-ed room along the walkway to as6. what much have those people in there done for me? zilch. waste time only. and by the way i think i've upped the ante in my smoking intake too. which aint really something to be proud of. but ah well, beats the stress. plus amazingly there's more kakis now. best la best.

and somehow, just somehow, i look forward to school these days. well, gotta make the most of my last academic year!

ok back to readings. i hope. haha...

terrorists & freedom fighters

i was reading this article on a link of mine, gave me some food for thought.

"Consider the following actions of a political organisation:

1. Attacking British military and police personnel
2. Bombing a hotel and killing 91; mostly civilians
3. Assassinating a British politican and peer
4. Murdering 99 civilians over a sample 4 month period

Would the George Bush, Tony Blair and John Howard regimes waste any time in designating it a terrorist organisation worthy of a free holiday in Guantanamo Bay or Abu Ghraib prisons? Would such a bunch of murderers earn Dubya's epithet as Islamic Fascists? You bet.

Would these terrorists deserve to be hunted down all over the world and when caught, brought before Dubya's military tribunals to be found guilty and executed? You bet - especially if you're a pure as the driven snow Neo-Con Christian Fascist!

Now, here's a little more detail behind each of the terrorist actions listed above.

1. A Jewish terrorist organisation called Irgun, killed numerous British military and police personnel from 1944 through 1948.
2. Irgun claimed responsibility for bombing the King David Hotel; causing the 91 deaths.
3. In 1944, Lord Moyne was assassinated in Cairo by Irgun's sister organisation, Lehi.
4. From April 1939 to July 1939, 99 civilians were shot dead or blown to bits by Irgun.

Yet today, when Hezbollah and Hamas are doing no more than emulating Irgun's business model, they stand condemned as terrorists and "unlawful" combatants by the US, UK and Israel. While Hezbollah's and Hamas' terrorist actions cannot be excused nor condoned, sadly, the hypocritical amnesia of the US, UK and Israel furnishes convenient cover to reduce Lebanon into rubble.

Now, if Winston Churchill (who was a friend of Lord Moyne) had remained in power after WW2, and had reduced Jewish held towns and villages in Palestine to rubble - in an effort to kill off Irgun (just as Israel justifies its actions in Lebanon now), would Condi Fried Rice have regarded this as no more than "birth pangs" of a new Israel? Hmm, somehow I think not!

Let's talk a bit more about Irgun. When it was most active against the British, Irgun was led by none other than Menachem Begin. It was Begin who ordered the bombing of the King David Hotel. Considering that such an act today would surely have earned him odium to perhaps the same level as that reserved for Osama bin Laden, Begin instead became the sixth Prime Minister of Israel while leader of the right wing Likud Party.

Under his watch, Begin charged Ariel Sharon with the task of greatly expanding Jewish settlements in the occupied terrorities - the cause of much enmity between Israelis and Palestinians for such a long time. Then in 1982, with Begin still as PM and Sharon as Defence minister, Israel embarked on the ill-advised invasion and occupation of Lebanon. It was during this invasion, that large numbers of Palestinian refugees were massacred in the Sabra and Shatila camps by Lebanese Christian militias allied with Israel.

So things aren't really as objective and balanced as the US, UK and Israel would have the world believe. In their fantasies, the "good guys" have a higher moral standing than the "bad guys". The high moral standing of the good guys allows them to commit war crimes directly or through proxies like Israel, against unarmed civilians; while dismissing the deaths as "birth pangs" of a new Lebanon. Yeah right. Some birth that's going to be in the rubble strewn country!

Yet the reality is that we in the west, not only failed to capture, try and execute an unlawful combatant and terrorist called Menachem Begin, we recognised him as the lawful prime minister of Israel. We compound our hypocrisy by green lighting the systematic destruction of a friendly and democratic Lebanon, all in the name of destroying Hezbollah; an organisation formed to protect Lebanese Shia Muslims during Israel's 1982 invasion of Lebanon.

The US, UK and Australia among others, lauded Menachem Begin as a Freedom Fighter but regard Sheik Hassan Nasrallah (present leader of Hezbollah) as a terrorist. One person's freedom fighter is another's terrorist. Moral hypocrisy founded on expedient values has no bounds in the White House, Downing Street and Kirribilli House, don't you think?"

- intectus, 190806