weekend was pretty tiring for me. not sure why though.

aniwaes i played the last 5 minutes of the match against the doctor-wannabes on saturday afternoon, and somehow, was able to be at the right place at the right time to score the crucial winning goal to puts arts fac into the semis. wooohooo. pretty amazing considering that i was supposed to take the place of our leftback who was injured. hopefully this gives me some credentials to play more la. would haf wasted that darn saturday if i wasnt even called unto the pitch. though i understand its a team game and the best players should play, what irks me is the farcical substitutions made by those in charge in order to accomodate their friends. when its obviously clear that there are others who can really play in particular positions. what the heck. never mind la, keeping shut is the best policy i guess. no point creating dissention in the ranks.

went for sheesha with yan after that for dinner and slacking session. apparently the grand plan to go with a few others was cancelled at the last minute. so we both just went ahead la had no other ideas for the night. mixed sausages and wedges can really fill an empty stomach, darn nice. plus coke. woooo... and of coz a strawberry-flavoured sheesha this time around. i hogged and puffed away like there's no tomorrow. think the dosage is much higher now. one puff could really make me woozy man. wooooo...

sunday was our 5th month together. what an enriching experience it has been. ups and downs no doubt. but hey who's free from that yea. sometimes it can be real testing for both of us, considering that we're both bledy hotheads and stubborn people. but coming out of it, i feel it makes the attachment and bond that we share stronger. definitely, on my part la, at least. dinner and movie was a simple affair. nothing big. sometimes i feel guilty for not being able to splurge more on her. or give her the treats that she deserves. hopefully i can make it up to her through other areas of being in a relationship. especially the implicit intangible ones. ok i better stop this is getting too mushy. haha. ok, may we succeed in our pursuits yea. *grins*

that aside, my spine and back has been kinda hurting. plus the chronic neck pain ive been suffering from. think my posture from typing also plays a part in this. i need a massage. any volunteers?

i need to widen my wardrobe. shall probably list the needs in the next entry la. if i aint lazy.

match with the team from school of design & environment yesterday was tough. they had two ang mohs, one in defence and attack respectively. drew 2-2, lost the resulting penaty shootout though.bummer, now we hafta play one extra unnecessary match on saturday with the doctor-wannabes from medicine. special thanks to jamal, yan and shan for coming down to support me play a measly last 5-10mins of the match. couldnt contribute much to the game la.

hmm...its true when they say that actions speak volumes about a person. this i agree. but i dont tink though that it would be necessarily fair to say that any certain action is able to fully describe nor detail what the person is all about. sometimes, i guess, people are driven to do the things they do or make the choices they make due to circumstances. which at times are beyond their control nor wishes perhaps. tough luck aye.

the other day i was kinda put in a spot. in which i was placed in a situation where i had inexplicably become embroiled and torn in the midst of two parties who have issues between them. as if i was involved in the animosity between the two in the first place. funny thing is that whichever solution i make would make it seem like as if im favouring one or the other. to me, both are equals, no more no less. all i tried was to help offer ways to go about it, in the fairest way i thought possible. yet unfortunately me being me i got misunderstood and was stuck in whole new lotta problems of my own from then on. wat a bummer. as if im at fault for everything that was going on in the first place. sigh.

ive been told before that im too nice sometimes. hmm...perhaps mebbe that was why the above happened. well, cant help it if im like that yea. hmmm...mebbe i should just stop being sooo empathic or understanding of people's problems, and just be an ignorant prick and just focus on rectifying the failings of my own life 1st. that's it la. no point being helpful and all if at the end of the day im just seen as being overfriendly or sociable or wat shite. heck ah...pardon me yea, if from now on im just being jerkish in whatever i do. life is and was never fair, so why should i even bother trying to make it that way aniwaes. right?

i saw the trailer for this year's miss singapore universe pageant. eeeek. my goodness. every year.

got a real bad feeling for the gek1525 test i had just now. dont know how to answer most of the questions. and its like freaking 35% of the final grade. damn screwed man. aaah fark.

the arts fellas won 4-0 against the geeks from computing. woweee congrats guys. hope i get to play on thurs though. competition to get into the team seems tough.

am still bugged by the semi-headache. probably coz i didnt get enough sleep yesterday. and i still cant seem to figure out the best side of the bed.

one of my friends kinda just got attached. she seems in bliss. all the best! *thumbs up*

am hungry. to my credit i havnt eaten a proper meal for dinner yet aite. thus the hunger's justified. shall rummage thru the kitchen later.

tired too. but got essay to think about. and another early day tomorrow. bummer.

this thing will never end..

just as im finishing up with the long dragged deviance project, i gotta start worrying about another history essay due on thursday. and i have a test for gek1525 which im so freaking lost and have no interest in watsoever. had to take it due to the darn requirements. social thought's term paper is due the week after that. and malay history's after that. yikes.

i never really knew that sometimes, the things people say can realy hurt. as bochap and relaxed as i am, guess im pretty much emotionally permeable like everyone is. man those words can sting. and they stink too. aaah well gotta bite the bullet, take it in my stride, and smile my patience away.

went to one of my groupmate's hostel room just now for meeting. my first time venturing to those areas. found the place nice, reminds me of my army bunk last time though. so slack, twas nice to be living on your own, technically. wished i had the financial muscle to do so now.

ate at tong seng coffeshop at bugis for first time too. tried the sliced fish porridge. tasted like food served for sick people having a fever. apparently the place is all hyped up and all. dun seem to be validated i tink. normal only.

think i been sleeping on the wrong side of the bed. my neck hurts, and each time i wake up there's this headache bugging me. damn u bed.

from now till an unspecified date i will be conserving my ability to think and critically analyse stuffs in my life. in view of the many assignments and whatnots, i think its better for me to save my wonderful ideas and bombastic words to more appropriate use in my essays. cant be wasting effort thinking too much about what to write in a blog yea. shall probably stick to one-liners and perhaps a few short entries for the time being.

i took a serious dump upon reaching home just now. which i seldom do at this hour. usually its umm kinda of a routine morning thing for me the very minute i wake up. had to rush to the kitchen loo before i did the necessary. lucky it was felt after i got home. imagine if i was riding. horrible man. must be the stingray from west coast. or mebbe the pepsi plus sugar cane concoction. wateva la. ok this is quite a disgusting entry. think i should stop now.

meeting again for deviance tomorrow. lazy la lazy...

just a few updates.

1. i finally got a new horn. for my bike that is. an airhorn that can emit the loudest of horns. feel much more secure with the knowledge that i can horn at other motorist who cross my path. beware fellas.

2. interfac soccer starting. for the arts fac fanatic, please do come and support. interested parties can ask me for the fixtures. though you may not get to see me play. not sure if im in the starting eleven.

3. the skin on my shoulder is peeling slightly. apparently i was burnt i suppose, not really tanned. never mind la, quite an experience.

4. sarah can now wave byes at people. and sabrina's starting to sing alot and say prayers. my my they are really growing up very fast.

5. i still have a alot of work to do. and they're still undone.

6. as the days go by, im learning more and more about the people around me. inclusive of the close ones, the not so close ones, and the growing close ones. subjective to my perspective though.

7. been feeling lethargic and snoozy lately. despite the relative adequacy of sleep. mebbe perhaps coz ive been running around doing a few stuffs, running here and there. so much deviation from my usual slackiness. cant seem to translate the energy for that to the more important stuff i hafta do though. haha.

ok mebbe thats all for now. ciao ancho.

from the rivers of babylon...

just now my thoughts kinda wandered to the memories i had of someone who was quite close to me last time. amazingly, the feeling of pain and loss suddenly overwhelmed me so greatly that my tear ducts burst opened. admittedly and unashamingly i cried so much that im surprised myself. mebbe i was merely expressing the emotions that had been pent up in me all along, and basically it was triggered off i guess. didnt realise how much i had really missed nor appreciated the person all this while. until just now of course. think its common for us to not appreciate a person that much until he or she is gone. as much as we try to, its different i feel. unfortunately sad la i think.

man i didnt know i was such a wussy. or sensitive for that matter.

sunny day, sweeping the clouds awaaay..

went to the sentosa beach yesterday, with the one and only yan. weather was good, bright hot and all. both of us got quite a tan, more dark than bronze though. think i overburnt my shoulders too. the area feels sore now. twas good, bumming around, something different from the usual activities that we normally do. talked alot and shared alot. didnt take my bike either, so going public was also a welcomed relief. its more enjoyable i think, allows more interaction time with each other. fun day la.

played the court soccer tourney just now in nus. got into the semis before getting knocked out. wat a bummer. was a tad disappointed with myself for not performing at a better level i know im capable of. mebbe the team felt pressured to perform la. got some pretty good individuals in it. aah well tuff luck. next time perhaps.

almost lost my beloved G-shock just now. was frantically searching for it in the toilet after washing up at YIH. went on all the way back to the court area to look for it. only to realise that it was in the back pocket of my berms all along. kancheong sia. felt so stoopidly dumb man. haha.

almost got knocked down by a car just now, when on the way to river valley to sign my payclaims for the month. which again by the way, is pathetic man. i was turning right into a minor road when a stupid red car suddenly appeared from behind another gold car which was waiting to turn right also (in the opposing traffic direction..geddit?). my sight was blocked by that stationary car, and the coast was clear for me to turn. as i was doing that the red car appeared in a very fast speed, perhaps having veered away from the gold one. thank god i saw it coming and sped into the minor road. bledy driver horned his car, and got the cheek to slow down after that, turned his head and stared at me (i had turned and looked at him 1st of coz). idiot he was damn speeding man. God must haved loved me still to have reacted my instincts fast enough. sheesh and i havnt been particularly observant in my religious obligations. hopefuly, slowly but surely la.

pooped now. need a rest, but the piling amount of work scares me. somebody help push me to work pleaseeee.

to the one who matters. sigh. i know i commited a major boo-boo. not that i intended to. and im very very sorry. but please, whatever was in the past, im sure i never did come close to it. without really knowing the extent of it, the mistake i made is undoubtedly minor if contrasted to whatever you had experienced. please dont associate me with that. i have no linkage yea. but im still realy realy sorry for the boo-boo. i know, my bad. *ponders*

my elder sis's going china tomorrow. means the kids will be staying over most days. hurrah.

ruck & maul and up & under...

watched the nus rugby team play against ngee ann polytechnic just now while waiting for my arts fac soccer training. sigh i miss playing the game. saw a few of my former jc teammates there, both from my batch and the juniors. recognised a few of my old opponents in the team too. aah well. i guess my physique's just not built for such a game. all pretty bulked up, even though they aint realy tall or wot. just dun haf the confidence to continue where i left off i guess. wasted. rugby's my love, soccer's my game.

am in the arts fac team. dunno if im in the starting eleven or not. not that i am expecting much. feels that there are actually more talented players in arts fac who never bothered to volunteer their skills. i know of a few good ones. such a waste. could really be of help to the faculty.

am tired. accumulated since the court soccer with shan and the JJ people. twas a good session, good workout, good getting to know some of the fellas.

school work still damn lagging. shite.

had a good chiling out and talk with the person that matters most after the day ended. time really told, and time will tell. guess i've learnt some stuff along the way. kinda like an eye-opener of some sorts. nothing bad of coz. we're gooood. *grin*

got to learn a couple of stuffs about a dear old friend of mine. nope nope she aint my mom, nor my gf. just realised how much of a responsibility she has. must say that i now kinda respect her toughness and resilience. not to mention the diligence she puts into school and work. and her unselfish attitude in helping others, me included. think she knows who she is. keep up with what u're doing aite. one day you'll reap the rewards im sure. u go girl. *thumbs up*

good friday

had a field trip this morning for my 'history of malay world' module. went on a tour of of the kampong glam area, the old royal istana, and the streets around there. pretty insightful and interesting, gotta know alot more stuff about the malay society which i didnt know before. some myths were dispelled, some upheld. felt that its kinda tragic that the descendants of the royal family simply disappeared into oblivion. what a waste considering that the family had such a rich history in singapore's past. dodo la.

modules like this are fun. something different, and the contents are indeed interesting. plus point is the fact that dr. barnard is taking the class. that man is never short on jokes, wit and humour. makes being educated enjoyable. will probably try to take more of his modules in future. oh, a piece of trivia. he IS a muslim. straight revelation from his own mouth. curiosity appeased for many of us. haha. no wonder he knew so much.

had a quick quick lunch at hajjah maimunah's, with faisal afro, yan, siti mariam, and wan. gourged on long awaited craving, the "siput sedut" (ocean snails). you'd hafta literally and practically suck them pieces out of the shells. my all-time favourite dish man. shiok. yucky it may seem to some, but u gotta try it to believe people. if you havnt that is.

listening to the friday sermon after lunch is never a good plan. dozed off many a times accidentally. aaah well. at least im there. for a start. had a pretty good chilling out session with the same group again after that at coffee bean in bugis junction. traded gossips and shared stories. in the time we were there, i gotta know more about the social stuffs and going-ons in nus than i did in the past 3 semesters. passive as i was, it was enjoyable. *grin*

bummed around with yan before ending the day with an unplanned spontaneous supper with azira, shram & aini, at west coast hawker center. again another round of sinful talk. haha.

feeling much better now. which is good. havent exactly been in good spirits past few days. hope it stays this way. que sera sera.

hmm now now, where is the time to do my work again? infinite yikes.

wat time issit..

its quite hard to be putting up a brave front when deep inside im actually crumbling. feeling so detached. since when does cruelty ever ever equate to kindness? perplexed to the max.

yan finally got her much sought after white adidas vintage watch. bought it for her, after she had unresistingly bought the green one just the week before. had thought that the white one is no longer available, but the stock came today. will now switch watches with her now. hope she's brimming with joy yea. collector's item aye. dun play play.

and then there was rain

the past days have been raining heavily in the late afternoons. and the nights are cold. a welcomed respite from the humid weather lately. and perhaps an omen of some sorts of whats to come.

was pretty drearily downcast for much of the day. nothing much to be upbeat about. mood at an all time low, a meek smile was all i could afford most times. irony was that she was the only one who was successful in lightening me up abit. shared a couple of laughs. nothing much changed though. how disheartening.

i need to cool off. been pretty much of a hothead for my own good. shizzle schmizelle....