heavy like a rock..

the problem with being a guy is that no one is expected to know and understand whats going on inside of you. physical strength, emotional steel, and a responsible mind is supposedly innate. overated la i tink. we're human.

hey hey..

its been 3 months since we decided to take up the challenge of being in each other's lives. been testing, been great fun. would be lying if i say if its been smooth-sailing. there have been glitches, no doubt, but i believe we have gotten to know and understand each other better through all that. learnt alot about myself too. the much-hyped honeymoon period never realy came nor disappear. not that it matter to me. personally i feel that the honeymoon should be ongoing, not something which definitively have an expiry date attached it. to me, it doesnt mean being in bliss is equal to being iqnorant of flaws/problems, nor does being in a conflict/argument is equal to any decrease in the positivities that can be derived out of a relationship. i feel happy, contented. in love? maybe. hope you are feeling happy too. really appreciate having you around, though i tend to not be that explicitly expressive about it some times. forgive me for whatever wrongdoings/misdeeds i've committed, most times i didnt mean to hurt you. may we be blessed with more to look forward to yea. happy mini-anniversary yan. *grin*

got a few things to look forward to this weekend.

1. history field trip. we're going to fort canning on friday morning to see the keramat (mythical grave). something different from the conventional tutorial. hope its fun. wooooooooo...

2. funkamania. its at taka civic plaza on friday also, at 7pm. interesting to see people dance. i liiiike. coz i cant for nuts. not sure if im going though.

3. work on saturday. ummm, ok not that fun.

4. soccer match. on sunday at ntu at teatime. keeping up with my fitness recovery "regime". let's continue our unbeaten run fellas. coz the last match was ummm a few months back.

5. sheesha. tentatively on sunday nite. hope i get to join in the starbuckian outing. long time no lepak. nvm the fitness, slack tetap slack. haha.

seems like a whole lotta activities there. should seriously start worrying about my readings man! *gulp*

ouch ouch..

my whole body aches. especially the legs. the months of inactivity really showed how unfit i've become. hurts when i try to move the tensed muscles. probably in need of a real stretching and massage session. nvm, slow and painful road to getting back my fitness.

went to meet my MP just now to try appeal against the summons i got yesterday. pretty nervous sia. had to wait for freaking 2 hours for the whole process of queing for a number, registration, initial interview, and finally meeting her. lembab la lembab. somehow i get the vibes that the staff and my MP was kinda sceptical about the whole appeal thingy. mentioned that they're gonna write in to the TP department. wateva la, just hope that the appeal is successful if they do follow up on it. if not im just screwed.

wat luck..

how suay can one get when you get your 3rd summons in as many weeks. and the offences apparently are getting worse. when i thought getting fined 8bucks for not putting a parking coupon was bad, the cisco fella proved it wrong. 70 bucks man. and now all that seemed like peanuts. got stopped by the traffic police just now, along boon lay way. when i was cruising along the road. apparently i was speeding on a 50km/h road. farking policeman started finding fault with me the moment i got down my bike.

"how come you wear your helmet strap like this?",
"who's bike are you riding?",
"where's your insurance?",
"where's your P-plate?".

please la, wanna enforce the law also dun be so ya-ya la. ok, maybe i was at fault and i did speed. but wat about the car that was just in front of me. if it was driving at a slower speed i'd probably would have hit its bumper. its was bloody averagely crusing with me, having turned the slip road together before that. oh, and what happened to the car that was stopped after that aye? having checked it and found that the people inside were old, wrinkled Chinese senior citizens, it was let go. rrrrrite. so much for this land having a corrupt-free and unbiased law enforcement agency. a malay riding a phantom, and the need to fill up the summons-issued-for-the-day requirement quota. plus wouldnt it have been a waste of time to be spending a sunday manning a road without anything to show for it to their superiors. hmmm, it all adds up i guess. bloody corporal. spoilt my day, my mood, and my finances. fark.

oh yea, its 170 bucks, and 8 demerit points. kannina.

pardon my hokkien.

day of the unmerciful eating...

spent a day at JB with yan, wan & faz today. my goodness what a whole load of eating it turned out to be. started off by having brunch at kenny rogers, the 1st time im actually eating anything from that place. yeap, believe it. serious. the meal i got was packed to the brim with carbo stuffs, macaroni cheese, mashed potato and all. yummy. not to forget the quarter-sized chicken. pretty ok, nice but not that wow outstanding la. from then on, every little muncheable thing was snapped up. the itch and temptation was just too hard to resist. pretzels from aunties anne's, octopus balls, humongously-sized hotdogs, dunkin' doughnuts, etc etc. the works man the works. bloated like hell. had fun, of course. got home in time for the man utd match.

i absolutely like it when we talk and share stuffs. pretty enlightening, ego-boosting, and reflective at the same time. really enjoyed the openness of the civil and mature discussion we had just now. twas nice, thank u yan.

soccer match for rashid's team tom. will be playing for them, need some cover i was told. looking forward to it, been ages since i kick a ball. kinda miss my fitter days, when lung-bursting runs were not a problem for me. sigh, getting old i guess.

selamat hari raya haji..

its one of the quietest and least hyped up of all festivities i've ever experienced. this year's no different, and i tink its getting worse with each passing year. reminds me of the time when i was in taiwan, and only got to go back to singapore and celebrate after the 3rd day was over. and worst part was that it was hari raya puasa. the atmosphere just isnt there anymore. this is sooo not right. i think.

in real need..

of sponsors, and food donors. been living a life of a single bachelor for the past few days, though not realy of the swinging type. its been wake up in the morning, off to school or work, and i'll be back home late at night. increasingly inclined to eat out, and by the time im home im soo pooped to the max. and its a cycle again the next day. my funds are getting severely depleted, trying my best to scrimp and save now. but it aint working too well i think, and been quite sometime since i've had good, homecooked food. getting sick of buying hawker & fast food stuffs. help..

paid my fine by the cisco/traffic police fella. shite its freaking 70 bucks my goodness. down the drain just like that. and when considering what i got for that was a roti john chicken cheese & a mushroom cheese prata. madness, wat a loss. now i understand why motorists have this thing about the government and getting fined. come to think of it the majority of singaporeans do gripe about that issue too. every fine-able aspect of life is never missed aye. dammit la now my already tight budget is seriously going into a major major deficit. help again..

lagging in my readings. cant get myself to start. even if i do, it'll be a stuttering one. but whats new with that yea. im such a slacker, doing the minimal required each time. lazy lazy lazy. wished sometimes that i can have the capacity to push myself harder, like some of my more ummm studiously renowned kakis. maybe i could, afterall i was quite a prodigy back in my ummm formative learning years in the late 80s/early 90s. dunno what happened along the way la. aaah well.

i want a trucker cap. cant seem to find a nice but simple design, which doesnt seem too mat-tish. maybe im turning into one. yikes.

i miss yan.

ole!

wow finaly there's something to cheer about for our soccer team. won the tiger cup against all odds, played with a reasonably sound tactical discpline and with a couple of unpretentiously good young players. no more the prima donnas of yesteryears who were more concerned with looking good on the field with their crap hairbands all. hopefully tis marks the start of a good era for singapore football la. maybe goal 2010 might even become a reality yea.

the match was fun, pretty much entertained by the on & off field events. crowd was somewhat muted though, only made noise when the action neared the indonesian goal. wished that we could one day experience the type of matchday atmosphere found in the european leagues. how fun would that be! with the chants, songs & taunts all. there was this apek who was fervently active in expressing his passion by standing up and gesturing all over the place from time to time. and there was this old-timer pakcik who awfully blowed his airhorn out of tune so many times, drawing laughter each time he tried to do so. lembik la pakcik, but never mind, the effort is there.

another thought of mine, which worries me. sometimes i wonder, why, in attempting to keep things as perfect as they are, in trying to do things right, the wonders of the powers that be tend to screw things up and result in a totaly opposite and less desirable situation. what i meant to do, or had intended to, just never seem to be able to take its natural course. never did i ever want to do anything that'll hurt the ones who i love. that's just plain jerkish. hmm, maybe i am, i dunno. all i want is the best, but i seem so far from being one. pardon my difficulties, my misgivings, my actions. wateva it is/was, im very sorry. there's a song i've always tried to adhere to and make it as an inspiration, cliche as it mite be. here's a couple of verses from it. it goes out to you.

"I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you..."

til we meet again..

my parents left for the holy land last night in the wee hours of the morning. will be away for a whole month. mang, thats kinda long. felt a tinge of sadness when seeing them leave into the departure area, what with all the typical last minute hugging and tearing by the makciks & old-timers. hopefully God willing they'll go & come back safely. my cousin asked a dumb question, why didnt i cry. hey, just because i dont cry doesnt mean i dont feel any emotions yea. tink its just me, the exterior sometimes dont realy reflect whats brewing on the inside. now i cant realy feel their absence yet, but i guess once the days start to go by, and as each day i come home to an empty house, probably that's when i'd start longing for them. its natural for people to be like that perhaps, we dont realy treasue what we have til those that matter are no longer around. i wish my parents good health and safety when they are there. Amin.

slept super late, had to be more domestically responsible for the moment, had to clear the up the mess made by the visitors who sent my parents off. looks more like as if there was a party rather than a solemn parting of ways. tsk tsk. very the shagged too, had been working since 10+ am til like 11+ pm before going to the airport and cleaning up the house after that. crazy man. foooh.

spent a nice time with yan today. been quite sometime since we chilled, slacked, and talked civilly to each other. the talking was good, had always believed that communication is the major component of any relationship. a mature, open and frank environment conducive to a mutual regular exchange of thoughts and feelings will be helpful to any parties to prevent any misunderestandings. theory-wise its easy for me to say, im still trying to get the hang of it too. haha. but time spent with her was fun, amidst the inherent kookiness afflicting both of us. as always food is never far from anything that we do together. as in eating i mean. this time burger ramly & "keropok lekor" were the staple. for the unfamiliar, "keropok lekor" is the long strips of fried fish crackers that's crispy on the outside and soft on the insides. nope nope, its not like durian. it tastes great with chilli sauce. been frequenting the everpresent pasar malam for the umpteenth time, could probably qualify for a loyalty discount card already. cheap good food man. highly recommended.

Tiger Cup final tomorrow at the National Stadium. soldout crowd expected, hope the match isnt gonna be a sellout. hopefully Singapore plays the way a national team should, and win it. going with yan & her mamasitas gang. will be fun!

woooooooweeee!

yes im back, back again.. my iBook's finaly here, after a long long wait of 3-4weeks. in tt time also i had the bad luck having my PC crashing, thus was kinda cut off from the virtual internet world. made me realise in way how dependent ive grown to be on the computer. esp with the great need for school and stuffs. came in time man, just nice.. collected it at the MPSH in the morning, before lecture supposedly. but didnt realise that it came with a huge box and all. had to skip my much anticipated Malay World lecture by the taking the cab home 1st to dump all the unnecessary. sorry Dr Barnard, realy had wanted to revel in ur witty sarcasm & humour. next week yea. headed back to school agn later for my Deviance with Dr Ghana.

Deviance lecture was a blast. Lotsa familiar faces, and the theatre was way way overflowing with people. darn popular module i guess. the same gang were there again, with the addition of Shan. welcome to the group brudder, really needed more guys around. Dr Ghana was enjoyable as usual, he was having fun talking about oral sex, masturbation & trannies. amongst others stuffs which i was frantically trying to scribble my notes away. too fast too furious la his speech.

ended the day with a trip to cheese prata shop to makan. good food, but quantity-wise not proportionate to the price i feel. abit steep for what we're getting. had mushroom cheese prata, roti john chicken cheese & helped finish off Imah's murtabak and Yan's maggi goreng. yeaps, i seriously have an appetite problem. got fined again though, for parking my bike along the pavement near the pet shop. this time its by a vespa-riding Cisco fella. shit man, hope it dont result in points deduction. makan also they wanna find fault. tsk tsk..

stopped by the clementi pasar malam after that. ate some more munchies. the coconut drink was especially nice. bummed ard for couple of hours, slacking and talking crap before heading home. twas nice, been awhile since the fab four went out. should do it again yea. soon.

work for the next 3 days at South Buona Vista. borring. pretty relaxed over there, but kinda missing River Valley roots. cant wait for saturday too, to be spent with my significant other. it'll be fun. weeeeeeee...

when left with no choice..

sorry to have bad news. esp to my ummm, faithful readers. will only be sporadically updating this site til the time i get access to a proper internet connection. darn the crash. cheerios til then..

oh nooo...

my comp's crashed again. fark. not at this time, when school's starting again soon. must be dying coz of old-age, been obsolete many times over. cant wait for my iBook to come, i really need it urgently. to chat, to blog, to surf, and lastly, to do my work. hope there's no cockup with the Comp Coop people la. come quick plsss....

we both had our hair cut. mine as usual was conventionally done at my uncle's barber shop. turned out ugly-ly short as usual too. cant be bothered la, hair will always grow back i assure myself. i hope. yan went to her favourite shop too, though her favourite stylist was missing in action. turned out nice, looking spunkily-neat. and cool of course. that's my girl. =)

my parents going away for a month next week for the Haji pilgrimage. freedom. weeeeeeeeee!! no food. aaaaarggghhhhhhhh...

constipated..

..with the amount of video titles, both DVDs & VCDs, i had to go through during stocktake today. goodness, shaggedelic to the max man. for those who think scanning barcodes was fun, you'll definitely think twice after going this annual procedure, imagine a room full of videos, wall to wall, shelf to shelf, and having to tediously handle each and everyone of them. foooh, madness i tell u! was assigned to help out the South Buona Vista branch today, so its the first time i am working with Fadzly Bo after he got the job. got member, so the tough day was relatively fun-ner in a way. aint that bad when you got company yea. tired to the max still. hopefully never again next year.

had a good good conversation with yan before sleeping. great way to end a loooong day. nice.

referee kayu!!

oh well, not really actually. went to the National Stadium catch the Singapore versus Myanmar game just now. woah, what a real dogfight man. macam like secondary school soccer interclass matches. on a wet muddy pitch, with sliding tackles, fights and all. great great action. kind of relieved the good old days of watching the Malaysia Cup, what with the Kallang Wave, the chants, the boos, and of course, the mandatory airhorn & "butoh!". fun, real fun. also saw another side of my beloved yan today. didnt realised that there was a die-hard supporter inside of her, with the fervent shreaks that bordered on the maniacal sometimes each and everytime Baihakki touches the ball. the matchball that is. it was a really fun experience, despite the intermittent rain again. would probably be heading down there again on January 16 for the final. Cmon everybody feel the power you can feel the steam its the Dream Team! man, how cheesy was that theme song back then aye. hahahaha...

so what if..

u are a rich white foreigner supposedly brought into this country as a complmentary talent. all that dont matter when your mannerisms & attitudes sucks to the core. fought with an idiotic customer today who insisted that i fill out the membership application form for him, claiming that he was in a rush. yeah right, as if. especially not when his bitchy-looking shite of an Asian partner/wife and little daughter came in strolling around the shop for a good 15-20 mins before that bugger came in. and hello, its not as if i dont have other customers to attend to. and like whats your God-given hands for aye? im employed to serve your needs, not your wants. and that also pertains only to video-related stuff. i dont believe i owe anyone a living, especially some arse who dont even belong here. not that im being xenophobic or anything, but people who think they are so above others are just plain shitheads. claimed that he wanted to complain to my manager. go head asshole, im sooooo quivering here. well, you got the kind of service that you deserve, you reap what you sow. bugger off!

on a lighter note, went to the esplanade for new year's eve. had wnated to catch some fireworks, but apparently it was cancelled due to the sensitivities in light of the recent tsunamis. which was good i feel. but the atmosphere was less than sombre though. people were still milling around looking as happy as ever. i wonder how it'd be like if it were closer to home. dont think people would still be revelling in the festivities. the initial plan to camp was also scrapped, due to the unforgiving rainy weather. wet wet wet all over the island. wouldnt have been fun stuck all the way in the tent. so yea, maybe next time perhaps. had supper at Lau Pa Sat. ate alot as usual, although this time i think the food was less than satisfactory. disappointment la, taste-wise below expectations. probably shouldnt have bought from that particular malay stall. funny how i noticed that the hawker was kind of brandishing a Guinness can while manning the stall. hmmmmmmm.... weird. went to peep at trannies at Changi Village after that. didnt see much. but i dont think i miss much either! hahahaha.. got home at 5am. pooped to the max. concussed til goodness knows what time man..

happy new year everyone. cheers!